The Giving Hands

Everyone expects a perfect baby. And when the baby that is born is not ‘perfect’ as how we define, some parents have difficulties accepting it.

A couple of years back, a friend who is a doctor asked if I can talk to a mom who had problems accepting that her newborn is not ‘perfect’. She had refused to touch or even see the baby and kept asking the family to ‘give away’. The ob-gynae wanted to refer her to see the hospital resident psychiatrist but she was deeply distressed and refused to do so as well. My friend then seek my help as he knew I had dealt with several bereaved moms whom had babies like that.

I went to see her husband and mother-in-law as I told my friend that the mother needed time to get over her trauma. I spent several hours just chatting with the husband and mother because they were at a loss on what to do as the wife refused to even see her child. The baby was healthy enough to go home but the wife refused to bring her back.

Finally, after sometime, it was decided that they will bring back the baby but they are not to ‘push’ the mom to care for her. I also warned the family about post-natal depression and not to leave the baby alone with her mom. However, I told her mom-in-law to try leaving the baby within close distance and try not to rush to the baby when she cries but see if the mom will slowly soften her heart and care for her.

I did not follow up with them but gave them my number. I prefer they reach out than to impose my presence on them. Today, I still wonder if the mom finally found that the baby is as cute and as adorable as other babies? I wonder if the baby girl now receives her mom’s love just as much as every baby? Did the family provide the baby all the special care she needs, especially early intervention so that she is able to grow up normally?

Sometimes, some of these special abled babies are neglected by the families. So, we should be thankful for all the kind souls whom had adopted them and give them a welcoming home. Be thankful that Eden has provided such shelter for them.

- Lilian -