This is the last of my guest post on TheGivingHands.Org.

I offered to guest blog here because I noticed the lack of response the bloggers who take part in the Blogathon face. I try not to sound obnoxious (LOL, I am famous for that, BTW), but I realise that my blog has a wider traffic and I THOUGHT I could help by generating more awareness on this event. Since I have more readers and higher traffic, I really THOUGHT that that would mean more support and sponsors to this honorable and wonderful event.

But I am afraid that in reality, many people only hear what they want to hear and read only what they want to read. If I tell people that such and such program can help them earn money, they will rush to join. And I THOUGHT that if I tell them as bloggers, they can give back a little from what they earned, to a charitable cause, they will do it. Unfortunately, no. Nobody even thought of blogging about it to inform their readers.

Anyway, I am very happy to at least take part, albeit in a small way this year. There are many nice folks who stayed up to cheer the bloggers on. There are many sponsors too. Plus the few bloggers who chip in with their voluntary guest posts on other blogs. To them, I salute you. I am not qualified to say ‘Thank you’ but I am sure those parties who receive your goodwill will appreciate these little kindness.

To all those bloggers who still have a long way to go, I say BRAVO! Keep going!

- Lilian -

Many people like to use the word cacat or cacat-ed to describe things that are spoilt or damage or not perfect. It is so often used that it has almost become a habit for everyone.

For example,

“My hair is a bit cacat today because I have no time to style it.”

“The new teacher is a bit cacat-ed and none of us know what he is talking about.”

“You look cacat in that photo.”

And so on…..

I know a lot of people who pepper the words in their language all the time. Bloggers too like to use it. I do try to keep reminding myself not to utter it. And as a mom, I forbid my kids even though they pick it up from school and the word popped out sometimes.

Because if you are a person who is really cacat physically or mentally, how do you think you will feel to see people playing around with the word?

Yeah, the same word ‘retard’ too is so common.

‘You look retarded in that shirt.”

“That reviewer is such a retard, they cannot even do a proper review.”

How do you think the parents of those children with disabilities feels?

- Lilian -

There has been a lot of debate on the matter concerning parents of special needs daughters who struggle with the issue of intervening with their reproductive system. Some of these girls reach puberty and could get pregnant. Some of them are mentally-challenged and are not able to protect themselves in case anything bad happens.

Let me tell you about Penny. Penny passed away when she was about 15 years old. She was an autistic child and later on, developed many physical disabilities and she was unable to walk. When she reached puberty and her menstruation began, her mom had many problems with her.

Their family is unable to afford any special care for her as both parents had to work hard to make ends meet. None of the homes accepted her and moreover, the family loves her too much to part with her. She had three brothers and she would sometimes strip herself and pass motion and dirty the house by wiping all over the walls. So, when she got her period, it was even more messy.

Her mom was desperate and frustrated. She asked me if I could help her find a doctor who was willing to remove the girl’s ovaries to prevent her from bleeding and also turning in a woman. To the outsiders, we may think it is cruel. But we are not the ones who have to clean up the mess she made or the brothers who may be uncomfortable with a woman as a sister. We are not the ones who have to bathe and clean the girl.

The first ob-gyn wasn’t willing to do it and told me he needed a court order. The Government hospital too could not perform it. Then, I found an ob-gyn who understood the dilemma. After a few counseling sessions with the family to make sure that they knew what they were doing, he agreed to perform the surgery. He only charged them a minimal fee, out of compassion.

Penny underwent the surgery. Unfortunately about 1 year later, she got ill and passed away. The only assurance I could offer to her mom was Penny never felt pain. She didn’t have pain reflex and she never felt unhappy as you can see her laughing and clapping her hands.

So, back to my question -
Should we intervene?

My reply will be: If you have walked a mile in the caregivers’ shoes, then, only answer.

- Lilian -